I've finally decided to part ways with my SNK Neo Geo AES after a stormy twelve-month marriage.
As I'm sure you will know, The AES is the Citizen Kane of 1990s games machines. The TV show Top Gear reckons that to be a true car fan you must have owned an Alfa Romeo at some time in your life and I think similarly, that to be a true gamer you must have had in your possession at some point a machine with the SNK badge. Well, I’ve served my time.
The machine was ludicrously expensive to buy back when it was released ($649.99 in 1990), and horrifically pricy to keep upholstered with games ($200 a throw). Despite the high cost, they aren't rare at all and are still very much in demand with collectors to this day. Diehard fans on the Neo Geo forum would fight you to the death in a knife fight defending their pride and joy. Seriously.
It is, to be honest, a little underwhelming at the first meeting. For a machine with such a reputation of prestige and exclusivity, you would expect it to be carved from the finest mahogany by Gisele Bündchen and weigh the same as a Fiat Cinquecento. Alas it is, well... plain, light, a bit flimsy and doesn't even have an external LED to show when its on. It does have a truly fantastic controller though.
The NG is infamous for being the de facto machine for beat 'em up fans and well... I don't like fighting games much at all. OK I admit it; l bought it just to show off and say I had one, happy now? I kept telling myself that there were plenty of other games for it that didn't involve kicking people's heads in with combos and not all of them cost hundreds or even thousands of dollars. In short, I thought I could own one without having to sell a kidney.
Well yes you can, but it's all rather disappointing and disheartening. The early releases such as Magician Lord, NAM-1975, Ghost Pilots and The Super Spy can be picked up for about US$30 each off eBay - not too bad. They are packed to the brim with the sort of bright colours, fancy graphical effects and beefy sound that had the Megadrive crying into its beer, but to be honest, they aren't exactly the greatest games made by mankind and while they don’t play especially bad, its just that you can get a lot, lot better.
Fine thought I, I'll get some newer titles. The ‘Metal Slug’ games are rightly trumpeted as classics and would make the whole AES ownership an absolute joy. I knew that the first one is as rare as hen’s teeth and goes for a couple of thousand dollars, and I’m sorry but even if I could afford it, no game is THAT good. However, there have been numerous sequels and surely those would be more reasonably priced? Well yes they are cheaper, but their reputation precedes them and the admission fees start at $250 for the later, not as well respected games and climb up to a grand or so, for the early fan favourites. Ye gods… Far too rich for my blood.
I conceded and picked up a few cheap beat 'em ups, but I just never played them very much. I began to see how many PC Engine or Super Famicom games I could get for my SNK banknotes and how Neo Geo ownership, especially when avoiding fighting games, was just not practical for me.
I see forum posts and YouTube videos all the time with people stating that they intend to buy an AES and I always want to shake them furiously by the lapels screaming ‘Please! For the love of God, don’t do it’.
So farewell Miss Neo, I will miss you and the slightly erotic smell of solder in your hardback book sized cartridges, but it was not meant to be. You were too high maintenance.
